Today was a special day because it was the day Celeste and Sabrina legally became my daughters.
It was a very rocky road to get to this point, but very well worth it.
They came to this decision all on their own. It took some soul searching on their part and many years (about 19) to come to this decision.
The adoption is final on 15 August 2013. Celeste Abigail Voss and Sabrina Renee Gonzalez are officially my daughters.
A lot of events have happened since Celeste and Sabrina announced the adoption. They deal with feelings of the birth mother and the half birth siblings, a lot of negative words have come from them and it is quite understandable. So in the following paragraphs I have put together a little bit on how I feel about all the things that have transpired.
In light of all that has recently happened, concerning the adoption of Celeste and Sabrina, I am feeling happy, disappointed, sad and confused.
I am happy that Celeste and Sabrina have asked me to adopt them.
I am happy that Susan has been able to keep a positive attitude through all of this.
I am happy Susan wants to stay my friend and that we may be able to continue our friendship.
I am happy that I have been able to get to know Felicia. She is a delightful young woman and I would like to be able to spend more time with her.
I am sad Yvonne and others feels abandoned or betrayed.
I am sad that Renata feels angry and hurt.
I am disappointed by the hurtful angry comments meant to shame, push away, and hurt the very people whom you profess to love and care about.
I am disappointed that we all can't overcome the finger pointing, name calling, meanness, anger, and negativity and be able to care for one another no matter what the circumstances.
I have some questions for the Holman kids. Before you attacked Celeste and Sabrina and called them mean petty names, did you bother to ask them why they have made the decision to be adopted? Do you love them enough to try and understand why they would make such a decision. Do you love them enough in spite of that decision to not turn your back on them? Some of you have chosen to be angry about the situation, but when was the last time anger and mean words drew someone closer to you? It usually pushes people away and causes more hurt feelings.
If you truly love your siblings as I have heard you do then you would not attack them in this way. I know there are some of you that have learned that when someone does not behave in a way you think they should be behaving then you lash out at them with mean words or threaten them in hopes that they conform because they don't want to hear it anymore. This is what you are doing right now. You are telling Celeste and Sabrina that you will take your love away from them unless they do what you want them to do. Is this what you would want for yourself if you chose to make a decision about your life that everyone else did not agree with?
I know this family has had three sets of parents and for some people that is confusing and hard to deal with. This can create many questions: Do you love the one and hate the other? Are you betraying one or the other parent when you love one or the other? Do you have room in your heart to love both sets of parents? If you spend time with the family over here won't the ones over there be jealous and/or think I don't love them as much? How do I make all of them happy? Why don't they love me enough to let me choose where I feel I belong, etc...? These feelings are understandable and can be hard to cope with and sort through. My fondest wish is for these three sets to be able to get to know one another and to get along with one another and perhaps for someday to even all love one another. Other families have done this so I know it is possible. I know it sounds a little too corny and mushy but that is the way it is.
There have been many "open adoptions " in this country where the child is able to maintain contact with members of his/her birth family and many of them are over the age of 18. This is all done for the benefit of all parties involved. It gives the child a place to call home with parents that love him/her, it gives the birth family contact so the child knows where he or she came from and it give the birth parents a chance to still be able to show the child love, and it is an opportunity for the adoptive parent/s to parent, and love a child. In this case (Celeste and Sabrina's adoption) it would be beneficial for all to keep an open mind, be considerate of one another's feelings and understand that Celeste and Sabrina want a whole family not a divided family. Don't they deserve that much without being hated for it?
I am not sorry I am adopting Celeste and Sabrina, I love them very much and I am thrilled they made this decision on their own. I would hope all of you Holman children would want them to be happy because you love them and not be angry because you think they are taking away their love from you because they are not. I know for a fact they still love you and no legal document will ever change that.
