I wrote this a long time ago and recently found it. It was my thoughts on a man that was in love with me but I was having a hard time coming to terms with how I felt about this man. I had had several disaster relationship where I was hurt tremendously so for me to have a man that was real, honest and in love with me was hard for me to come to terms with. This was an attempt to put on paper what I was feeling at the time. Unfortunately he was one of the "lost loves" of my life.
16 May 1981
I wake in the morning thinking of you. I don't know if I'm in love or if I'm just dreaming. I know they say when you've found your true love you'll know it, but I wasn't looking for anyone and here you are professing your love for me. Oh God if this is a test please let me know or else I'll not make it through.
I sit and listen to the birds sweet songs and feel the wind blow through my hair, wondering which way to go, I don't know which way is right and which way is wrong. I just don't know which way to go.
I went away for a day and I felt so all alone. I thought of you as the whole day went by and there was no one there that I knew in that place.
As I think of the past, I think of all men as "rats". They're all out to get what they can. When I see you, suddenly my view changes, but still I stay away thinking you're a rat in disguise.
If I only knew what the future held, if I was to be with you for time and eternity, then I would quickly take you away, but then again, I might just walk away, never to see you again.
As the day slowly passes by, I think of all the times I though of you and remember that you said that you love me. then I shake my head and ask, why me? Is it no wonder I'm in this situation? Are you my friend or are you an enemy?
Now the day domes to an end, my thoughts all disappear with me as I fall asleep and in my slumber something tells me, "he's for you my dear", then suddenly I awake in tears. I cry, "my God, please help me through this"!
Now I sing a song, a beautiful song: I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with you. Don't ever leave me, stay by my side, oh what a beautiful day and oh what a beautiful long. I love you.
Susan Sheppard aka Susan Clay
16 May 1981
I wake in the morning thinking of you. I don't know if I'm in love or if I'm just dreaming. I know they say when you've found your true love you'll know it, but I wasn't looking for anyone and here you are professing your love for me. Oh God if this is a test please let me know or else I'll not make it through.
I sit and listen to the birds sweet songs and feel the wind blow through my hair, wondering which way to go, I don't know which way is right and which way is wrong. I just don't know which way to go.
I went away for a day and I felt so all alone. I thought of you as the whole day went by and there was no one there that I knew in that place.
As I think of the past, I think of all men as "rats". They're all out to get what they can. When I see you, suddenly my view changes, but still I stay away thinking you're a rat in disguise.
If I only knew what the future held, if I was to be with you for time and eternity, then I would quickly take you away, but then again, I might just walk away, never to see you again.
As the day slowly passes by, I think of all the times I though of you and remember that you said that you love me. then I shake my head and ask, why me? Is it no wonder I'm in this situation? Are you my friend or are you an enemy?
Now the day domes to an end, my thoughts all disappear with me as I fall asleep and in my slumber something tells me, "he's for you my dear", then suddenly I awake in tears. I cry, "my God, please help me through this"!
Now I sing a song, a beautiful song: I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with you. Don't ever leave me, stay by my side, oh what a beautiful day and oh what a beautiful long. I love you.
Susan Sheppard aka Susan Clay
